The Coaching Corner:

The Power of Writing - The Power of the Internet


I have had an interesting experience that I would like to share with all students and parents. I've already shared it with my classes, and upon further reflection, I thought it would be a great topic for the Pawprints.

Ten years ago, I was very involved in many online discussion groups. One active and often heated group covered religious topics.  As usual, I was extremely passionate in a quick reply regarding the events of 9/11.

Later through the years, I wondered about what I wrote and decided to look for it around 9/11 in 2010.  I found many different variations of my reply in the discussion group all over the Internet, but never found the actual post. On one website was something as close to the original as I remembered writing it.  It was tagged with Author Unknown. I wrote to the website's owner and told him I, Tess Haranda, was the author.  He put my name and my coaching website on the tagline.

I posted the story to my Facebook page, but it wasn't really noticed.

Fast forward to 2011.  Early in September, I was contacted by a man from Pennsylvania. He'd found my post and wanted to use it in a 9/11 service and give me credit as the author. Actually, he said he'd read the piece right after 9/11 in 2001 and went back to find it again for the ten year anniversary. I was humbled and flattered. I told the priest at my church about, and he asked if I would read it during our own service.

On Monday, 9/12/11, the man from Pennsylvania requested to friend me on Facebook.  In his note, he said my piece was well-received at his service, and they were skyping to Afghanistan during the service.  Not only was I humbled, I was floored.

Something I wrote as a quick and passionate response on a discussion board was going around the Internet and around the world. My words had power that I hadn't realized. The Internet had kept them alive.

I've been telling my students to remember this when they are online. Their words could be around for a very long time, and they might have an impact on people around the world. You just never know.

My best,

Tess Haranda

8^th grade Language and Literacy

Creative Reading/Writing Studio

Life Coach

www.successwithtess.com

Spring is here – that means more sunlight, outside activities, yard work, TAKS, and allergies!   I’m not a doctor.  I don’t have medical training.  I’m not giving medical advice. However, let me just share some of my experiences and findings. 

 

I have always been a curious person.  I like to look for trends and patterns; cause/effect relationships; answers to every question that pops in my head.  I’ve noticed that my daughter and I don’t always get the sniffles during allergy season. We get headaches.  I’ve also noticed a few other things that occur in the spring, so I had to wonder about how allergens and our bodies reaction to any “threat” to its environment.

 

From www.nlm.nih.gov – or Medline Plus, a service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health:

 

“An allergy is a reaction of your immune system to something that does not bother most other people. People who have allergies often are sensitive to more than one thing. Substances that often cause reactions are

 

Pollen Dust mites Mold spores Pet dander

Food Insect stings Medicines

 

How do you get allergies? Scientists think both genes and the environment have something to do with it. Normally, your immune system fights germs. It is your body's defense system. In most allergic reactions, however, it is responding to a false alarm.

Allergies can cause a runny nose, sneezing, itching, rashes , swelling or asthma . Symptoms vary. Although allergies can make you feel bad, they usually won't kill you.”

 

If our bodies are trying to fight something perceived as a foreign threat, that warfare might take all of my fighter cells from their posts in one area of my body to another.  Logically, if they are successful on the new allergy front, there might now be a weak area where they had to leave. So, that original war front starts to get more “inflamed” under attack.

 

I recall instances in my past where I thought that a medication was no longer working for me.  I also started to get many symptoms that indicated all types of new illnesses.  But, what if it was just that my defenses were overloaded because of allergies and my body’s successful fighting on that front?  There are indications that allergies have direct and indirect effects on the body that we normally don’t think of.

 

What I am getting at is that some changes you see in yourself or your child may not be a new or alarming problem. It might be that their body is trying to fight several fronts at once, and some area of the body is being breached.  Maybe if you helped the body with the fight against the allergy, it could return to its normal routine working to help other areas of your health – including emotions, behavior, mental reactions. 

 

Take care of your body; it is a highly complex system of very inter-related processes. Do those good things we know to boost your healthy and immunity – get plenty of sleep, eat several smaller meals throughout the day, avoid the junk foods, drink water, laugh as much as possible.  If that doesn’t help the new symptoms – THEN go to the doctor!

My best,

Tess Haranda

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

 

Let’s look at “failure.”   How do you define failure?

 

I believe that labeling someone (even yourself) or a situation as a failure is only something we can do at the very, very end of life or at the end of a specific, long-lasting phase in life.  Even if you have not been successful at something, that attempt can be a valuable lesson. As long as you are still learning, I don’t believe that qualifies as failure. Maybe you just learned what NOT to do or what doesn’t work.

 

My definitions of failure are:

Failure is when you stop learning.  Failure is when you no longer try.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are times when you need to stop what you are doing – that’s still not failure if stopping is the best decision! You’ve made a good decision to go in a different direction, and that is what I call a success.

 

Instead, say that you’ve had “opportunities” and “learning experiences.”

 

• How many “learning experiences” did Thomas Edison have before each invention (1093 registered patents) was successful?
• How many “opportunities to improve” did Colonel Sanders have before his fried chicken recipe was accepted by new franchise owners and his fast food chain became a globally-recognized product branding?
• How many dating “opportunities” did you have before meeting your spouse?

 

Each opportunity and learning experience moves you closer to success. That is NOT failure.

 

When we redefine the definition of “failure,” we start to redefine many other words. This then redefines our outlook and our attitudes.   Look at your definition of “failure” and a few other words.  Could your internal dictionary use an update?

 My best,

Tess Haranda

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

 

Have you noticed how the very young and very old find joy in the simplest of things?  Little kids love playing with boxes as much as presents.  Our elderly love talking, time, and attention.  I’m making a resolution this year to find joy everywhere I can and in the smallest places. 

 

I think one outcome from our economic challenges has been a shift in priorities.  All of my family decided to only focus on the youngest generation for presents this year.  We came together with so much love that even the kids weren’t focused on presents!

 

I’ve been making a list of everything that makes me happy –little things, silly things.

• My kitten
• Toasting my toes in front of a heater or fire
• My daughter when she wants to cuddle (She’s in high school!)
• My puppies when they play
• My wonderful parents and family
• Watching movies
• Reading
• Writing
• Dancing
• Cleaning and yardwork (yes, really!!)

 

This is only a partial list, but you can see that most of the items on my list happen all the time. They are part of daily life!  I can look around and appreciate them constantly.

 

I encourage you to look around and find the things already in your life that make you happy.  You may find they aren’t “things” at all, but situations and loved ones. That is finding joy.

 

 

Until next time – find a way to show as well as tell your child, “I love you.”

 

My best,

Tess Haranda

8^th grade language arts, CMS North

Creative Reading/Writing Studio

UIL Editorial Writing Coach

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

That one simple question is probably the most important addition to my daily self-talk.  Interestingly enough, it’s really changed my actions and my attitudes. 

 

In the past, when I was faced with a situation, I might act quickly on impulse. As I matured, I naturally took more time to assess the best course of action.  However, there were times that I wanted to act in such a way that might feel good or satisfy my pride.  But, it wouldn’t help the situation any. 

 

Asking myself this question has changed how I respond because it takes the focus off of me. It puts the focus on the other people and the situation. It reminds me that it’s not always about me. It definitely shows me there is a difference between what I want and what would ensure the very best outcome.  It has certainly diffused what could have been tense or nasty moments.

 

I encourage you to ask this question as well.  Give yourself a few seconds to reflect on how you could help in every interaction of your day.

 

 

Until next time – find a way to show as well as tell your child, “I love you.”

 

My best,

Tess Haranda

8^th grade language arts, CMS North

Creative Reading/Writing Studio

UIL Coach

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

 

 

 To have a healthy life, you sometimes have to deadhead, prune, and even cut back to your roots.  Sometimes it feels refreshing; sometimes it's a little hurtful or sad. But think on what happens to rose bushes when they are pruned – they grow back stronger!

 

Often we think of cutting back in terms of buying and accumulating stuff or spending money. We also can cut back on our outside commitments and distractions.  However, we might have to cut out people, places, and things.

 

For example, people who are trying to quit smoking must find other non-smokers who can help support them in their goal.  The same is often true for alcoholics and drug-abusers.  These groups of people can't be with the same people or go to the same hang-outs as before because it doesn't support their new habits. 

 

Any healthy lifestyle choices that we make require an evaluation of the people and places in our lives.  If I want to make a change to get more exercise, I need to stay away from people who sit at home to watch TV and fill my life with active people. If I want to ensure "clean language," I don't need to be around people or watch shows that use offensive language. If I don't want to encourage, participate, or spread gossip, I need to stay away from people who do.

 

Think of the garden of your life. What do you need to prune? 

 

 

Until next time – find a way to show as well as tell your child, “I love you.”

 

My best,

Tess Haranda

Personal Life, Career, and Executive Coach

www.successwithtess.com

 

 

 

 

 

Stress and overwhelm are usually products of putting ourselves in a situation where we are expected to perform at a higher level than within our comfort.  Many times this has to do with taking on too many commitments and/or not doing those commitments with the quality, caliber, and level of performance that you normally would.  Stress and overwhelm come from looking at where we are lacking or have not been successful. We look at all that is left on the to-do list.

 

• Prioritize your list, so that you get the most pressing or important tasks done.
• Learn to say no.
• Don’t add extra things.
• Don’t feel guilty; don’t feel obligated.

 

We know this!

 

 

Try this next idea, too.

• Acknowledge and celebrate what you DID do!

 

Make a list of what you did get done. Celebrate those accomplishments and give yourself the credit you deserve.  How do you feel right now, knowing you have something you can acknowledge?  Better?

 

Please realize that our children go through the same stress and overwhelm. They often may not show it, stuffing it down, or denying they are under any stress.   They are being pulled in so many directions with school core classes, electives, outside activities, family obligations, and social interactions with their peers. 

 

Help your children by modeling this technique. Model it so they start to learn to use it.

When you acknowledge and celebrate what you were able to accomplish in a day, say it out loud for them.  For example,

 

“Wow, I didn’t get everything done, but I am so glad I was able to x, y, and z today.  That makes me feel less stressed out.”

 

We have such hectic lives. Taking care of ourselves and our children is really the #1 to-do.  Until next time – find a way to show as well as tell your child, “I love you.”

 

My best,

Tess Haranda

CMS North – 8^th Language Arts

UIL Coach

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be back this August.  I love school. I love backpacks, pencils, and journals.  When I was working in the corporate world, August would always make me a little sad because I didn’t have a reason to buy a new backpack.  (Well, then they put wheels on backpacks and I rationalized that it was the new briefcase!)

 

This all brings me to organizing!  We have all this new stuff, and we need to do something with it.  However, organizing isn’t only about stuff.  You can organize your time, your space, and your mind!  Clutter is a real killer.  Have you heard about the poor people killed by mounds of their own stuff falling on them?  And tragically, if the stuff in your mind gets beyond your control, it can have a devastating effect as well.

 

Let’s briefly talk about three areas where you need to organize for a great year.

 

1. Your time

Your time is valuable. To show value, you assign priority or importance to something.  When you are organizing your time, you give the most important items optimal time slots.  Those items don’t get cancelled or shuffled around.  You use a calendar, a timer, whatever it takes.

 

Our students get a new agenda at the beginning of each year. During classes, they are to write down due dates, homework, and important things to remember.  As teachers, we help them with this. Parents, you too, can help check the agenda at home to show the importance of organizing time. Model your own method for your child.  Show them what works for you.

 

2.  Your stuff

Your stuff is valuable. To show its value, you take care of your stuff. You are responsible with it and make sure it stays nice. Cell phones and MP3 players are prime examples of valuable stuff. However, books and papers are also valuable.  Take care to keep them with you, in order, and in good shape.

 

Binders, folders, and lockers help students keep their stuff organized.  Teachers help students with different organization skills for paperwork; but for some kiddos, it’s a constant struggle.   Parents can help affirm the importance of keeping papers and folders organized, while watching over their child at home.  Let the student work through organizing and find their own system. Help them make it a healthy habit. (Be careful not to throw out papers until you know they don’t need it! Many a parent has emailed me that they actually threw away something their child needed to turn in.)

 

3.  Your mind

Keeping your mind organized is the key to a happy and healthy life.  Balance is what we strive for. It’s not productive to be over- or under-concerned about daily tasks.  I would even suggest that we are not striving for perfection…that’s not a reality.  However, we can strive for excellence and growth daily. 

 

Make sure that you and your entire family have time for quiet, time for fun and play, time for laughter, time for sharing, and time for studies.  Two of my daily mentally requirements are to be thankful and to learn something new.  When I have dozens of things flying around my mind like a tornado, I can always get back to a calm, organized mind by focusing on the things I am thankful for and that I have learned that day.

 

 

Until next time – find a way to show as well as tell your child, “I love you.”

 

My best,

Tess Haranda

Personal life, career, executive coach

www.successwithtess.com

 

 

Hello all!  I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since I posted to this blog.  I've been writing like crazy in so many other ways.   I'll post my published articles here in the next coming days.

I did not make it past the first round in the author contest, but it was such a great experience for me.  I really learned a lot and have valuable experience that can help me in my future writing and publishing endeavors.  I encourage you to find that big, scary experience and give it a try.  It was never about the winning for me; it was about the learning!

My best,
Tess

www.successwithtess.com

I've done it! I've jumped in with both feet, just as I said I would.    I've entered a contest to get a book published.  There are so many amazing authors with ideas and books, over 2500, in fact.

Go to nexttopauthor.com

You can search by my last name, Haranda, or by my Author ID - 2465.

Stay tuned for more updates on the contest, and as always, more articles for your benefit!

My best,
Tess